mai faic? oh. OH. Ew. Ah fink t’at’s mold.
…I…why would you have mold on…on your face, Stu?
Do you need help washing it off or…learning how to maintain your hy-hygiene in general?
Oh, well, jus’ ‘cos I’m a magical fruit it don’ mean ah…
…A jo—Ah’m fookin’ serious here Belle. Ah’m an apple uv’doom ‘n’ chaos ‘n’ destruction ‘n’ shit. Ah’m pretty sure ah’m responsible foh t’a birth uv’Hitlah.
Oh. Mah gods. Yo’s a banshee? That’s amazin’.
…Wot’s a Banshee?
…Ah’m not sure if yo tryin’ t’a make fun uv’me here…Ah can take a bath buh ah can’t wash mah face? -squints eyes- Ya jus’ afraid of seein’ mah wiener, aren’tcha?
mai faic? oh. OH. Ew. Ah fink t’at’s mold.
…I…why would you have mold on…on your face, Stu?
Do you need help washing it off or…learning how to maintain your hy-hygiene in general?
Oh, well, jus’ ‘cos I’m a magical fruit it don’ mean ah can’t get moldy do it?
…Are you offerin’ t’a gimmey a bath then?
WOT did ah say ‘bout t’a fookin’ trut’arrows?
…’N’ ah luv mah mum.
why do birds suddenly appeeeeee—
oh right. because. it’s five am.
and they’re chirping already.
earlysingingfuckers.
buh bye tarlings.
<3
…Well…Yeah buh…
-in a low mumble- Cuddlin’wouldbenicetoo…
AH…fuck.
Lissen’, t’is arrowin’ me in t’a head business ain’t fun. Ah know ah’m an apple ‘n’ have no eyeballs, buh ta’ don’ mean ah don’t have feelin’s. Or…Nerves. T’at feel pain. ‘N’ bein’ nawty usually keeps people away. ‘Cos ah sound all confident ‘n’ full uv’mahself ‘n’ people can’t see t’a shallow lil’ apple ah am deep insiiiiiiiiiibullturd.
Sounds like ah jus’ been strapped t’a chair watchin’ Oprah foh six months non-stop. ‘N’ ah like lots uv’ people. Ain’t difficult t’a get attached. Ah like Rosie. ‘N’ her sister. ‘N’ Belle. Oh, ah like her.
Oh. Kissin’? Uh…Awrite. Juss’ askin’ fo’ one though. Nawt t’at I wouldn’t, f’course ah would, buh, jus’ t’a make things clear…Ah only have t’a ask, rite? No need t’a be succe— OW! Fuck a duuuuuuuuck.
